Philosopher, pacifist and all around mighty thinker Bertrand Russell believed that within each of us lives a savage. According to Uncle Bert this savage must find expression through some means compatible with everyday life or things are going to get ugly. He suggested sports and other forms of physical activity as the best way to express the savage without getting thrown in jail. Problem is most workout plans are anything but savage; they are tame, civilized and stuffy as Babbit on a Monday morning.

Recognizing your inner savage isn’t difficult. She’s the one that wants to guzzle red Gatorade till it gushes down her naked chest or get exceedingly dirty tearing through muddy fields. This is the beastie that would rather tip over a Stairmaster then step on it. She can’t count and doesn’t know a set from a rep. She never follows directions or stresses about getting in twenty minutes of moderate cardiovascular exercise three times a week. This beast would rather chase the surgeon general around his desk then listen to his recommendations for longevity.

It is very difficult to exercise your beast and do a savage workout in most gyms. Gyms are highly civilized places. Some rules are posted on the wall but there is an even longer list that is invisible. These are rules like don’t make loud noises, don’t do an interpretive dance with your workout towel in the stretching area and don’t pull out every single weight from the rack to build Iron Henge. People stare at you if make the wrong kind of noises at the gym. They expect you to do standard movements that don’t frighten them. They get uncomfortable with too much jumping, chasing, crawling or cartwheeling. Basically gyms have all the rules and repression of the average work place, but you have to pay to be there. Don’t get me wrong, gyms serve a useful purpose and have there place; but sometimes you gotta get out.

Here are a few tips for injecting some rabid into your physical life:

Free at last!
For heavens sake get out of the gym (see above)! Most have a strong anti-savage vibe. They want to pack as many rule following, dues paying suckers into the smallest space possible. Get outside, go home or find another space that will let you run around and raise a ruckus.

Exercise naked
This works best at home, but if you live some place rural you could also do it outside (don’t forget the sun-block). I personally love to weight lift topless. If you have never had a drop of sweat run from your brow all the way down to your toes you are missing out.

Get loud
I had to practice screaming at the top of my lungs several times before I could actually do it. The first time is especially difficult. We are taught from a very young age to shut the heck up and this training runs deep. Of course, choose your location wisely for this one. If primal screaming isn’t your bag try grunting, groaning or growling. Pretending to be different animals can be helpful and entertaining. If you are too embarrassed to try this even by yourself, then you should definitely do it anyway.

Get prehistoric
If you are a gym-goer try to get through an entire workout without counting or tracking time, sets or reps. Instead of counting concentrate on how your body feels. You may wonder how you will know that you have completed your workout without any counting. Good question!

Fire is fun!
If you have been doing a particular workout for a while write it down nice and neatly on a piece of paper. Then burn it. Imagine what a fire starting savage would do instead. Then do it.