If you don’t want your hair pulled, eyes’ poked or favorite socks thrown out the window then don’t pull anyone else’s hair, poke anyone else’s eyes or pull any monkey business with someone else’s socks. This is the Golden Rule and it is a very effective tool for keeping things civilized in most communal venues.

But did you know that this magical rule also works in reverse? Instead of “do onto others as you would have done onto you” try, “do on to yourself as you would do on to others”. This is especially important for women and anyone with over powering caretaking instincts, with a tendency to treat others way better than they treat themselves.  Would you tell a friend to work long hours, skip exercise and eat pre-packaged cheese slices for dinner? Would you advise Uncle Jimbo to do a workout that he hates, is bored by or that just isn’t effective?  How about giving the thumbs up and high sign to skipping flexibility training or doing movements without proper technique or purpose? Yet you might be doing some of these no-no’s yourself without thinking twice about it.

Take a quick inventory of your health and fitness life and jot down anything that you wouldn’t recommend to a friend, family member or well-behaved stranger.  Another good way to approach this is to imagine that a friend (with remarkably similar strengths and limitations) came to you asking for health and fitness advice. How would you advise them? Most likely you would be encouraging, enthusiastic and eager to help them find creative solutions to any potential problems.

It’s seems a law of human nature that we give better, more thoughtful advice to others than we give ourselves.  So how about treating yourself as well as you would a friend for once? If your friend was nervous and lacking direction in the gym you would tell them to hire a trainer for a few sessions. Of course they and their priceless health are worth the investment. And if someone told you they not excited about exercising anymore you would suggest that they try a new class or sport, pick up some fitness magazines for fresh ideas or find a buddy to workout with.

Try approaching your struggles as if they belonged to a good looking stranger instead of little ol’ you and discover just the kick in your workout shorts that you need.

Just don’t accept candy from yourself.

Since becoming a trainer I’ve come to hate the word “just.”  I hear it used constantly by clients describing their workouts as in, “I just did 30 minutes of cardio,” or “I just did a yoga class on Tuesday and a few weights on Wednesday.”  People use the word to let me, and themselves, know that no matter what was accomplished,  they feel they should have done more and are appropriately shameful.

Though I’m sure men occasionally use terms of self-degradation, I find that it is mostly a vice of women.  And I don’t think it’s the fitness equivalent of “does this make my butt look big?” Women who use this term aren’t usually looking to be told that their workouts were worthwhile and that they should be proud of themselves.  I know this, because I try to tell them and they don’t want to hear me.

So if you suspect that you may be doing a fitness downer on yourself, it’s time to take a step back and start to listen to how you talk about your own habits.  Do you degrade your workouts, downplay your accomplishments and focus all your attention on your shortcomings? Do you beat yourself up about missing a workout or two, and forget about all the workouts that you did show up for? How do you describe your workouts to yourself (most importantly) and others (important as well)?  Do you use words like the dreaded “just”, “only”, or “weak” or do you use actual descriptors such as 20 minutes or 3 miles?

Since it can be difficult to hear our own well ingrained verbal habits, it is a good idea to enlist a friend or trainer to help you catch yourself in the act. Ask them to let you know when you try to make mole hills out of whatever size mountains that you climb. You probably don’t even realize all the wretched things you are saying about yourself, but those words have the power to slowly crush your enthusiasm for getting and staying in shape. Because if no workout is ever enough, why workout at all? And if you’re going to feel bad about yourself no matter what you do, why not sit on a block of cheese instead of a bike?

Now go get sweaty and talk nice about it (and your butt looks great in those jeans).

Though the 1980’s comedy classic Ruthless People is not often thought of as fitness movie, it can be argued that the physical transformation of Barbara Stone, played with diabolical hilarity by Bette Milder, is the catalyst for her moral transformation from bitchy, over-privileged snot to cool, down to earth accomplice in a modern day Robinhood scam against her evil husband (Danny Devito).

For those of you who haven’t enjoyed the ab workout that is Ruthless People, the basic plot starts with Sam Stone marrying Barbara for her father’s money and eventually getting frustrated when the old man refuses to die. He decides to kill the wife he never wanted anyway, so that he can score her fortune and marry his mistress. Before Sam gets the chance to chase his darling bride around the house with a rag of chloroform, she is kidnapped by a cute and bumbling couple, who Sam has screwed out of a small fortune.

Barbara is locked in their basement for most of the film. To keep busy she inflicts mental terror on her captors and begins following along with the exercise programs showing on the television set her humane kidnappers have provided. Because her husband Sam doesn’t want her back alive she’s is chained to that bed for quite a while and starts getting pretty serious about her routines, culminating with an inspiring montage showing her doing pull-ups on her bed frame and using her chain as a jump rope.

For the first time in Barbara’s indulgent, corpulent life she is losing weight, getting fit and feeling great; despite the fact that she is chained to a bed in the basement of a rundown house. I think there are a lot of useful lessons here.

1. We should all be really glad that it’s not considered cool to workout in G-string leotards anymore.

2. In the film Barbara Stone has tried every faddish way to lose weight including enduring injections of the urine of pregnant women. Fads and “get fit quick schemes” almost never work.

3. Breaking out of your routine is one way to make rapid progress. In this case Barbara went from being an uber-rich heiress who could have anything she wanted to a captive. Your change doesn’t need to be quite so dramatic, but a shakeup can be helpful.

4. Sometimes it’s good not to have options.  In the film Barbara is chained to a bed and doesn’t have anything better to do then workout. What kind of “chain” can help you get fit? Is it canceling cable so that you have to walk to get a movie? Putting away your credit card so that you’re not tempted to eat out? Telling your spouse not to let you in the house unless you have gone to the gym for the day?

5. Give your goals the time they deserve. In the film Barbara has all day and night to workout and fitness is her main focus.  If losing weight or getting fit is the top priority in your life then plan your time accordingly (using chains when necessary).

6. Simplify. For Barbara losing her freedom is the best thing that has ever happened to her. Turns out when she doesn’t have very many options, she is able to make better choices.  What tempting options can you eliminate from your life so that a healthy diet and exercise become the obvious choices?

7. You don’t need fancy equipment to get fit, just determination and imagination. I don’t recommend jump roping a chain, but you certainly don’t need a fancy gym membership or thousand dollar piece of equipment.

Now go get Ruthless!

Go to any gym or place of exercise and you will see that most people are not following a written plan or documenting what they are doing. To make matters worse, Joe Dumbbell is probably doing a workout he has done six million times before or making it up as he goes along. This haphazard workout style ignores three of the pillars of fitness; progression, documentation and variety. With a few simple and easily implemented habits Joe D. can go from average to extraordinary.

In my own workouts I have also found that the freedom of no plan can turn into a curse. If I show up at the pool without something on paper I inevitably struggle mentally and do fewer yards then usual. The problem is that I am forcing myself to be both coach and swimmer at the same time and I usually end up not doing either job especially well.

It is the coach’s job to select an appropriate, challenging and progressive workout for his or her athletes’. It is the athletes’ job to execute that workout to the very best of their abilities, asking questions for clarity, but not questioning the coach’s plan. If you don’t bring a daily plan to the gym, pool or track then you will also have to bring your internal coach or trainer along. Your attention will be subdivided between coaching and playing and you will do neither activity at full strength.

You can certainly be your own coach and many great athletes are self-coached. Problems occur when you try to be both coach and athlete simultaneously. It is impossible to think critically when you are winded or to think of your next exercise while you are counting your own reps. Trying to accomplish both roles at the same time often results is a disorganized, less effective workout and a stressed and prematurely exhausted athlete. Get a plan, write it down and bring it along; you will free up loads of physical and physic energy for your workout.

Tips for the self-coached athlete:

Buy index cards and a plastic index card holder. Write the basics of your workout including date, time, sets and reps and keep the old ones in the case. If the index card system isn’t your cup of tea try a small note pad in your workout bag or a spread sheet on your computer. Keep trying until you find a system that works for you. This is also an invaluable tool if you decide to hire a coach or trainer.

Keep your old workouts saved and handy so that you can use them again when you don’t have time to create something new. No need to reinvent that wheel every time you get sweaty.

Review and make changes every 3-6 weeks. This will help you realize what is working and what is not. If you don’t enjoy planning your own workouts hire a trainer or coach to create something new for you on a monthly or bi-monthly basis.

Saunas have always struck me as a place of indulgence for the rich and retired. I was of the opinion that my usual workout routine contained plenty of sweating without having to malinger in a hot box with naked strangers. I had always preferred to spend every precious moment I had at the gym sweating on the Stairmaster, pushing around heavy weights or begrudgingly stretching.

Then I got laid off from my day job and my schedule went from externally frantic and impacted to internally frantic and wide open. I used some of my freed up time and energy to set new fitness goals, develop more targeted workouts and explore aspects of the gym I had previously ignored, including the sauna. One day after riding the bike and working the heck out of my lower body, instead of heading straight for the showers I detoured into the sauna. I put down my towel, laid myself out and waited for something to happen.

At first it felt odd to be lying down and doing nothing at the gym, usually such a physically busy place. I stared up at the criss-crossed boards that made up the ceiling and tried to relax. After a moment, I could feel the heat beginning to penetrate my body, causing my skin to tingle and flush. I could feel the heat like a persistent lover determinedly making its way inward, working its way toward my tired muscles. I became hyper aware of the feel of my skin and the interesting feeling of my body interacting with the hotness. Another woman was having her own sauna experience on a bench across from me, but we did not speak. The heat and quiet wrapped themselves around me and I closed my eyes.

In this busy, fast paced world who doesn’t appreciate a little help to enter into a calmer state of mind? The sauna can be a meditative shoehorn to ease you into a more relaxed place and like the labyrinth, (see November 9th entry) is another useful tool. There are no reading materials, I PODS, computers or idle chatter in the sauna and we are relieved of the modern stimulates that keep us wired and given a rare opportunity to tune into our physical selves at rest. So often at the gym, and in life, its push!, push!, push! We feel the burn and then do five more reps, come to the point of mild discomfort and then hold the stretch, force out ten more minutes of aching lungs on the treadmill. No wonder so many people consider the gym a house of horrors.

The sauna does not allow pushing or competing and is great for balancing the more active parts of a workout. Spending time in the sauna can be a great transition from the charged effort of a workout to a more mellow post workout state of being. The process is cleansing for the entire body and a great relaxation technique.

On my way home that first day I experienced a warm, full-body glow. My skin seemed to be breathing on its own and I felt light from the inside out. Ahhh…the relaxers high! I am now a dedicated sauna convert and it has become my reward at the end of every workout.

The sauna is a five to ten minute gift of mental and physical health that you can easily give yourself. Don’t wait until you’re old, well married or unemployed to reap the rewards that the sauna has to offer. You could be a few minutes away from heaven in your own body.

The benefits of meditation are remarkable and continue to be documented. The practice has been shown to reverse heart disease, enhance the immune system, reduce pain and create feelings of calm and general grooviness. The problem is that sitting meditation requires the ability to sit still; which for many people can be a real obstacle to success. If you are stressed out and haven’t found a regular relaxation practice that works for you, perhaps a journey into the labyrinth is just what you need.

I had my first labyrinth experience on a breezy afternoon in San Francisco’s Duboce Park, making sure I was nice and pre-stressed by illegally parking to get there. Labyrinths have been used as a meditative tool by many cultures including Celtic, Mayan, Greek and Native American since prehistoric times. I already felt more connected to humankind as I thought about the mega stresses that people were dealing with thousands of years ago and was impressed that such varied cultures had caught onto this practice.

Labyrinths are often confused with mazes, but there are a couple of key differences. A labyrinth has only one winding path, you can’t get lost (physically anyway) and there are no minotaurs waiting to eat you. Also, labyrinths are flat and the path is never concealed. They can be made of almost any material but the most common are stone, masonry, tile or canvas. The labyrinth at Duboce Park is sandblasted into the concrete and includes a table-top finger labyrinth for the vision impaired. The typical practice is to walk from the outside to the center, pause for contemplation and then retrace the path back to the beginning.

The labyrinth adds some action to the quiet and focus of meditation and asks you to observe yourself on the journey. There are lots of different ways to approach the process of walking a labyrinth, from focusing on your breath, the feel of your feet (bare or not) on the path, your God or something else in your life that needs attention. You can see the labyrinth as a metaphor for the many journeys of life and also as adding some helpful structure to your meditative practice.

After my walk I felt calmer, more connected to my own body and more in the moment. I wonder what that the labyrinth has in store for you?

All stressed out with no where to go? To find a labyrinth near you visit the world wide labyrinth location.

http://wwll.veriditas.labyrinthsociety.org/

More information on walking Meditation (no labyrinth required)

www.wildmind.org/walking/introduction.com

Online labyrinth tool (no walking required)

http://www.gracecathedral.org/labyrinth/interactions/index.shtml#