If Martha Stewart and Lance Armstrong had a love child her lunch box would be packed with organic fruit, nutritious homemade energy bars and little notes with sayings like “We love you best when you succeed.” For the rest of us there are “You Bars”; nutrition bars created just for you by super-fit parental types (who would definitely love you unconditionally if they met you). These healthy snacks are a great idea for anyone who is trying to eat right and get it all done.

Most people are looking for Strong man nutrition on a 98-pound weakling budget. I was pleased to discover that these custom nutrition bars are quite reasonable and cost only a little more than their disgusting mass produced counterparts; those sad excuses for food that we have all eaten in starved desperation, made and wrapped by automatons that don’t care if you ever have another bowel movement. 

To start your personal nutrition revolution log on to Youbar.com and select “Build-a-bar”. There you will find a virtual cornucopia of wholesome ingredients, from organic acai powder to Ghirardelli Semisweet Chocolate Chips, all vying to be part of your creation. If this seems overwhelming don’t fret, there are suggestions to guide you along the way. The good folks at “You Bar” are so confident that you will love your bars, they will send you a different box for free if you aren’t happy.

Don’t forget to give your bar a name. I suggest “Go to the gym slacker!”, “Muscle To Be” or “Kick Some Ass!”

To wrap it up, there is no good reason to ever gag down another gross, hyper- processed nutrition bar. Take control of your nutritional destiny! It’s all about You!

www.youbars.com/  

“Dangerous When Wet” is a film from a simpler time; a time when you could call a family film “Dangerous When Wet” and nobody thought anything dirty was going on. DWW chronicles the adventures, both aquatic and musical, of country girl Katie Higgins, played by sassy water diva Esther Williams. Our reluctant hero is part of the Higgins clan, a vigorous bunch who rise early each day to partake in synchronized calisthenics and rituals involving wheat germ. The family certainly has their health, but what they don’t have is a prize winning bull. When an opportunistic traveling huckster rolls into town Katie seizes the opportunity to land her stud (in more ways then one).
           
Her quest leads her to Europe, where with the assistance of a handsome Frenchman, she begins a valiant attempt to swim the English Channel. As far as settings for light hearted aqua comedies go, this icy and treacherous body of water is certainly a unique pick. Swimming the channel is serious business. Its 20 miles across and even further when tides and navigation are factored in to the mix. I was amazed that women were even allowed to attempt the treacherous swim back then (the film was made in 1953). Keep in mind that it wasn’t until 1967 when a woman first completed an official marathon. The swim across the channel is brutal and can take upwards of 16 hours. In her weaker moments Katie isn’t sure she’s up to it.
          
It isn’t difficult to get swept up in her valiant, Technicolor voyage. Will she save the farm? Will she give in to the advances of the charming Frenchman? Will she make it across the unforgiving channel? And all without ever wearing pants.
           
I love this movie because it shows a strong athletic woman being supported by a cast of adoring and inept men. Nobody would fault Katie if she dropped out, married a farm boy and became the female equivalent of that prize winning bull. Her delicate bare feet tip toe along between the lines of the feminine ideals of the day and athletic excellence. The film isn’t slap sticky like some of her others and includes an animated underwater scene featuring Tom and Jerry (man, can that cat swim!). Esther’s gorgeous stroke, not too much music and a story of underdog triumph make this a film that is difficult to resist.

These two movements develop explosive pushing power and core strength. They also offer the  society enhancing benefit of quickly defusing feelings of homicidal rage. I often day dream about enjoying this  combo while engaging in more frustrating endeavors (usually involving a phone or computer).

What you need: a good sized medicine ball and something to bang it in to (a heavy punching bag, a solid wall or a partner who can catch).

Step 1: After a warm-up including loosening up your upper body, hit the ground for a challenging set of push-ups. Do enough to feel the tingle and get a little grunty, but not so many that you can’t get up.Step 2: Stand up and grab your medicine ball with one foot slightly in front of the other and knees soft. Think boxing stance. You are now ready to release the rage! To do a chest pass put one palm on each side of the ball and hold it against your chest at the nipple line. Arms should be bent and nearly parallel to the floor. To execute the pass extend your arms and thrust the ball forward in an explosive pushing motion. Focus on using your chest muscles, but make sure you keep your core/abdominals drawn in and tight and ground your legs into floor.Beginners: Do 10 modified push-ups (on your knees) followed by 15 chest passes. Rest one minute and repeat (for a total of two sets).Intermediates: Do 20 modified push-ups or 10 regular (on toes) followed by 20 – 25 chests passes. Do crunches for a minute and then repeat (for a total of two sets).Advanced: Do 20 – 25 push-ups followed by 30 passes (or 30 seconds of passing). Do crunches for a minute and repeat twice (for a total of three sets). Add a minute of jump roping between each set if you really want to sweat.Now get busy my little rage puppies and let me know what you think.